Monday 31 August 2009

AFC forever?

I've not posted on here for a while now. I should do, it was my goal to document my progress.
I don't feel like I've progressed much, despite working hard on my PhD and getting praise for that work, I'm lacking somewhere.
I've noticed some of my aspirations are not coming to fruition. Mainly in the same department as many men my age, women. Despite getting a close recently, that's only one on the list. A one! that adds up to nothing, I want to be multiplying.
I'm not multiplying for a very good reason. There is no drive. I don't have many friends around to go out with anymore, but even if I do get out and closer to potential targets I stick closer to my friends than I do to the girls. It's not a fear of failure, it's a fear of jumping in. I recently took up rock climbing and this fear of getting out there is the same one than makes me shaky and clumsy near the top, the fear of falling despite the knowledge of safety. Only thing is I fail every time with girls at the moment, I'm just standing at the bottom of the wall.
'Doesn't help that I've been fixated on one girl again as well. Even though you like them and want to make a gesture of how you feel by ignoring all other women and focusing on them, you should never do it until in the relationship. Otherwise you're too attainable, you're not doing cat string theory. It's a waist of time and a hard thing to take back.
A woman has a window of opportunity with you, just like the one you have with her. Don't forget that. It makes her be decisive and work for you as much as you have to for her. Don't ever give a woman the opportunity to be indecisive!
So will I take my own advice and start jumping from the top to desensitise? Or will I just stand at the bottom looking up getting a few lucky shots now and again. I need to start multiplying, not adding. How am I supposed to know she's the one if I don't know what 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6 are? Or even 100. We'll see soon won't we, only time will tell.

Friday 19 June 2009

Effortless attraction

If you don't read all of this make sure you read the last 3 paragraphs! It's good stuff!

I've not posted on here for a while because things have been pretty mundane. Things have happened to me and I've done all sorts, but nothing particularly note worthy.
I am fairly happy at the moment, my motorcycle is back on the road so I can blow off steam, a couple of friends have returned from Uni and I'm finding lots of reading to keep me occupied in this sleepy Oxfordshire town. For example I drove to the MOT the other day which blew off some steam and then I went for a walk with a friend and regressed a bit and jumped a river. The idea was I was testing if everything was the same as 5 years ago so I can use it as a date in the future. If you can regress slightly you can put your date in state and then you have a much deeper connection. She'll feel like shes known me for months! Also The activity displays extrovert, fun characters, whilst the walk allows deeper attraction and comfort to be established. Its perfect and I can't wait to try it out!

Now some people might be reading this, even one of the girls I take on this date if they google my name, thinking "This guy is tricking girls, seducing them for fun". Wrong, currently I have only ever been with 2 girls, I have run playful game on friend's girlfriends as I know there is no chance of it coming to anything and they tell me they love me all the time. Is that wrong? Rhetorical, but no! Its just being a nice fun guy that likes to be sociable and have rapport and emotional rapport with girls. I have never run my methods on anyone to just sleep with them and break their heart, and never will. If I know what to say and do to any girl to make her feel like my friends girlfriends, with the difference being sexualising the interaction, why would I do it to someone I'm not attracted to physically or mentally?! And I'm not thinking about this date anymore than any other guy, I just know how it works.
I feel this explanation was necessary in case a cynic, or somebody not completely in tune with my rationalising every little thing about the dating process comes across this blog.

This post is named effortless attraction in honor of my friend, we'll call him A1. The alpha, the natural. My wing and I (the wing being the guy who introduced me to the pickup community, so really I'm his wing) watch him as girls walk up to him, or he effortlessly opens a set, switches between the girls in it and allows them to chase him. How does he do it?! Easy really, he does nothing, but is himself. The opener doesn't matter, the rapport doesn't matter, those are the things that get her number or back to your place. What does matter is what you're saying before you enter set and when she's talking. Chase me.
How is he saying that?
With his body! Yes it actually does work, don't just read the Game which says act like Tom Cruise and think OK, or screw that. Think how an alpha shows he's an alpha. But you don't need to because I'm going to tell you. But that's not all I'm going to tell you. The reason for this blog post is hours laying around since my degree ended reading Gambler's book that he kindly sold me for a penny! I have also spent hours in clubs with A1 and now after standing in front of a mirror with my legs spread at shoulder width know what he's doing. He's doing more than anyone has done before and I will tell you once I have listed the steps to alpha body language;

1. keep your head up.

2. you can tilt your head slightly in interactions, but not in an approval seeking way.

3. keep your back straight, Imagine a pole has been shoved up your damn arse and into your head, yes that includes your neck. Too many people have bad posture, I'm in those numbers. I blame dog shit and those "posture correcting" chairs at school!

4. wide eyes, don't make them pop out, but don't look bored or asleep.

5. part your mouth. Don't make an obvious attempt to never shut you trap but show off your lips.

6. chest out. Fill your lungs.

7. legs wide apart. I've left this until last because it's simply the most important. You can do all the above and look well adjusted, but you wont be made until you do this. Like Gambler says in the Natural Art of Seduction (which I recommend btw); not too wide apart, but just wider than is naturally comfortable. Shoulder width should just about do it.

The artist Raphael noticed the importance of a pyramid. Its simply pleasing to the eye when the human form is involved. Make yourself into a portrait of a man and girls will have to come and have a closer look! I found myself wanting to get closer to the mirror when I tried it out. I've not had an opportunity to go out yet other than to the supermarket where its harder to get the same sort of attraction as that you get in a bar, but I still had women of all ages looking me up and down, had I not been with my mum I might have provoked a response.

So what is A1 doing? Well he's alpha, that for sure! But the reason my wing and I couldn't put are finger on why he was doing so well is he is quiet. He puts his hands in his pockets and he leans back too. All body language material I've read before says these are no nos. And heaven forbids you to touch your face!
The thing is alphas are human, they like to put their hands in their pockets, they like to brush their hair or stoke their beard and most of all they like to talk quiet instead of seeming like a meat head. OK so maybe they don't like these things, but they do them as much as a normal person.

Still, he's a normal looking guy, well groomed and showing alpha qualities, but with unnatural amounts of female interest! It's simple he's breaking rapport. One of the most effective ways to get an attraction is to break rapport and get her to chase you, as both Gamble, Sinn and AFCAdam have noted. However, A1 is doing something much more powerful, he's doing it without a word spoken. He's doing it in and out of conversation, but remaining attractive. He maintains his stance, standing crouched or sat (look at Tom Cruise), but he's twisting on his feet with his hands in his pockets or talking quietly. It doesn't say I'm nervous, low value or anxious. It's saying the opposite of that in fact. He is communicating to them that he is so high value he can do those low value things and not worry. "I don't need to speak up, you have to listen up", "I'm not going to try now, you can chase me" These are the things his 'Mosaic body language' are telling her!

I'll reread this and post any additional information later. I will also include diagrams, so keep your eyes peeled!

Tuesday 9 June 2009

8 Days later

Wow that was rocky!
I've not posted in 8 days. Not because I have a boring life and nothing to write about, far from it. But, because I have had hectic days and I have had very, very tormenting days!

I think I will start with the good. However, leaving the best until last. I spent some days on the beach, ice cream crawling with the couple of good buddies I have left. And I went to London for the day (Wednesday) with one of those friends to meet another good friend that unfortunately moved away. I stayed on with the girl we met to show her more of London and just to run a few tests on her, as she was confusing me with her flirtatiousness. I did compliance tests which she responded to. Gave her hoops to jump through. Broke rapport and left her to regain it. In the end she was giving me major IOI's beyond what any tests could... well, test. Yet seemingly she still wants to be in the friend zone. My best estimate of what is going on is she loves me, but I'm not her type. I don't think I'm going to break that down... whats the point, either it will happen naturally or she'll be a great friend! Frankly, this makes me happy.

Now for the rough stuff. I got my dissertation results back and they were not good. I put all the work in for a first and all I got back was 62%. Not a bad grade, but certainly not what I worked for and not what a few silly mistakes could have caused... Harsh marking? I'll wait and see when the feedback comes.
The unhappy point being however, I need 65% over all to get my PhD and 62% is too low and weighted too strongly. An email to the PhD tutor about what masters I should now do turned my fate. He was kind enough to realise my enthusiasm and tenacity. He will let me on with a low 2.1. Which is very kind of him, and all I can do is be humble!

New bad news today... The harsh marker, that is possibly responsible for this mess marked my 20 credit course as worth 59%. Perhaps the test was fairly marked, however the coursework, I feel was not. This put my heart in my throat to see this! Could the reassuring words of my PhD lecturer have been premature? I quickly calculated my final grade. I pass this year with 62.36%. That's a 2.1, which will hopefully translate into a PhD.

So there's my good news at the end there! Its not confirmed yet, however it is likely that I will be doing a PhD on Pterosaurs come October. I owe a lot of thanks to a lot of people. However, i have had a lot of grief this week for it. Not knowing what to do or where to go. I had back up plans as aforementioned, but I quickly realised when it came to it that this is all I want!

I'm home now, for a well deserved rest. I might not have come out with a first, but I sure as hell worked for one!
Guess I had better start learning all there is to know about pterosaurs now.
I think I'll brush up my Game this summer too. I'm getting lonely and I want someone to experience some new things with. I could do with a new friend circle too, so what better way than practicing my social skills and making myself meet new people.

Tuesday 2 June 2009

What's in a name

I've decided to call my blog broken days because of a concept I have. Those fleeting moments where the world runs away from you, you can't hear cars, the sky is blue and so far away and you feel so comfortable, those are broken days. They are usually interrupted by a lorry or laughter from a playground, but either way everything rushes back into existence. I love those moments, they come infrequently, and I chase them.

My name Polymath. Well its just an avatar so that my friends and family aren't insulted by my not being open to them. As a PUA I posted under another name but it was too associated with me, also on a thread I was posting on a fair bit someone said that piercings can add rich character to a polymath. The tread was on style and peacocking by the way. After reading that I thought that it was the perfect word to describe me.

I'm trained as a palaeontologist;
but I'm a philosopher.
An artist.
A musician.
A romantic -- I have actually been called a liar and a charlatan in conversation, I defended the liar bit rather well.
And a socialite.

I'm sure I've missed parts out and that I will gain new fields of expertise in the future, but as it is there are sides to me that I keep at hide away and those I've chosen to nurture in public view. So I am a polymath. So its my new avatar.

Also I'll explain why I am being very correct about my language. I want people to understand it, and I don't want my English skills to go to pot as I will hopefuly be writting a PhD thesis over the next 3 years, so I hope it doesn't bore people too much.

Monday 1 June 2009

The Introduction

So... I've been meaning to create a blog for sometime now. In fact it's multiple blogs. First; I wanted to create a blog because some cool people had a blog when I was younger. Second; I wanted to record amusing events in my everyday life and my philosophies. Third; I'm a "pickup artist" newb and want to record my progress. Finally fourth; I realised today how life works and that I'm doing well so I just felt the need to record that too.

So... the decision has been made that all four are to be combined.

So... an explanation for each and every one.
1) I was young, impressionable, it seemed cool at the time. I'm over it now, but it was once a good excuse.
2) I'm a very cerebral person. Despite social normality being something everyone acquires from different people and experiences, it should be internalised and comfortable. I feel a lot more like I learned it, that is of course what did happen as I said, but it isn't subconscious for me. So I feel I can't talk about things I think, see or want to do unless I'm drunk or stoned with my friends in which case suddenly it's acceptable to be philosophical, notice what people are doing in a social situation and point it out or talk about how I'd do it! The internet also makes these things acceptable, but if it means I can shed them every once in a while it's good for me if someone is reading or not.
3) So yeah, I'm a PUA. I know the methods, I know how to make you chase me when I want you. I can seduce you... as long as I can approach. Oh yeah like most PUAs I have massive approach anxiety! If I had started this blog for PUA alone, when I wanted to it would be very boring. I got over my anxieties years ago and got a H.B.8 to come back to my place and take a return trip the next afternoon... yes I got booty called. I then used it and got another girls number, facebook, myspace, address... the list goes on, but she was tough to crack. I gave up for a while, going home to a quiet town and leaving my wing behind over summer and didn't get back into it for a while. The second girl then got in a long term relationship with me and I forgot it all. Now 7 months after our separation and no sex I'm back into it but with the same old fears. I have had mild success but that's not for this introduction. All that must be taken from this is I've had a two year hiccup and I'm back in there! with a new PU avatar Polymath! Although on the PUAforum I'm still posting under my old avatar, its good stuff though, I'll put some up on here!
4) Finally my life; its awesome!
Unfortunately, by no fault of my own! My friendship circle collapsed like dominoes, but speaking to one of the other peripheral isolates today I realised we're doing so much better than those who rejected us! They seem to have fallen apart too, or been ripped apart and they just look like they're in a rut. Whereas, we are doing well. Socialising, having fun and experiencing new things. I'm happy I'm not in with them anymore, because within months of being isolated and feeling crap about it they started to look boring and gross. I don't want to bitch so this will be the last said of it. I don't want to think these things, or even mind saying them to their faces but I think it would have little constructive impact, but instead upset them. That is not my aim as all they have done is not hang out with me and it's if anything just a realisation of a difference in taste. They have been better recently as well, since some revelations have been made. However, its like when you notice someone chews loudly, you will never be ignorant of it again. They are in a rut doing the same thing that was fun last year but would totally bum me out if I was still doing it now!
So I've moved on.
And as my friend pointed out at the end of every relationship there's always a clear winner and a clear loser, and we aren't the latter by any stretch. He's graduating uni and traveling before doing a masters and I'm waiting on grades to see if I get a PhD and if I don't I still have plans to fall back on. Too many plans if anything! I can't decide which is best :S. Because they don't want to live with me anymore I'm finally getting away from that gross environment and buying a place to flat share... winner. Or I think so. They're just carrying on in the same old fashion whilst everyone is progressing around them. Its evolution!

So... this is it. The setting for my life. The start of recording my life. I don't want to get in a rut like those old friends so I want these reasons and themes to change! Maybe finishing the blog will be the perfect close to a chapter in my life, just like 5 o'clock in the morning on a sunny 02 June 2009 on the Portsmouth seafront is the perfect start to one!
Soooo lets continue...