AFC forever?

I've not posted on here for a while now. I should do, it was my goal to document my progress.
I don't feel like I've progressed much, despite working hard on my PhD and getting praise for that work, I'm lacking somewhere.
I've noticed some of my aspirations are not coming to fruition. Mainly in the same department as many men my age, women. Despite getting a close recently, that's only one on the list. A one! that adds up to nothing, I want to be multiplying.
I'm not multiplying for a very good reason. There is no drive. I don't have many friends around to go out with anymore, but even if I do get out and closer to potential targets I stick closer to my friends than I do to the girls. It's not a fear of failure, it's a fear of jumping in. I recently took up rock climbing and this fear of getting out there is the same one than makes me shaky and clumsy near the top, the fear of falling despite the knowledge of safety. Only thing is I fail every time with girls at the moment, I'm just standing at the bottom of the wall.
'Doesn't help that I've been fixated on one girl again as well. Even though you like them and want to make a gesture of how you feel by ignoring all other women and focusing on them, you should never do it until in the relationship. Otherwise you're too attainable, you're not doing cat string theory. It's a waist of time and a hard thing to take back.
A woman has a window of opportunity with you, just like the one you have with her. Don't forget that. It makes her be decisive and work for you as much as you have to for her. Don't ever give a woman the opportunity to be indecisive!
So will I take my own advice and start jumping from the top to desensitise? Or will I just stand at the bottom looking up getting a few lucky shots now and again. I need to start multiplying, not adding. How am I supposed to know she's the one if I don't know what 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6 are? Or even 100. We'll see soon won't we, only time will tell.

What's in a name

I've decided to call my blog broken days because of a concept I have. Those fleeting moments where the world runs away from you, you can't hear cars, the sky is blue and so far away and you feel so comfortable, those are broken days. They are usually interrupted by a lorry or laughter from a playground, but either way everything rushes back into existence. I love those moments, they come infrequently, and I chase them.

My name Polymath. Well its just an avatar so that my friends and family aren't insulted by my not being open to them. As a PUA I posted under another name but it was too associated with me, also on a thread I was posting on a fair bit someone said that piercings can add rich character to a polymath. The tread was on style and peacocking by the way. After reading that I thought that it was the perfect word to describe me.

I'm trained as a palaeontologist;
but I'm a philosopher.
An artist.
A musician.
A romantic -- I have actually been called a liar and a charlatan in conversation, I defended the liar bit rather well.
And a socialite.

I'm sure I've missed parts out and that I will gain new fields of expertise in the future, but as it is there are sides to me that I keep at hide away and those I've chosen to nurture in public view. So I am a polymath. So its my new avatar.

Also I'll explain why I am being very correct about my language. I want people to understand it, and I don't want my English skills to go to pot as I will hopefuly be writting a PhD thesis over the next 3 years, so I hope it doesn't bore people too much.

The Introduction

So... I've been meaning to create a blog for sometime now. In fact it's multiple blogs. First; I wanted to create a blog because some cool people had a blog when I was younger. Second; I wanted to record amusing events in my everyday life and my philosophies. Third; I'm a "pickup artist" newb and want to record my progress. Finally fourth; I realised today how life works and that I'm doing well so I just felt the need to record that too.

So... the decision has been made that all four are to be combined.

So... an explanation for each and every one.
1) I was young, impressionable, it seemed cool at the time. I'm over it now, but it was once a good excuse.
2) I'm a very cerebral person. Despite social normality being something everyone acquires from different people and experiences, it should be internalised and comfortable. I feel a lot more like I learned it, that is of course what did happen as I said, but it isn't subconscious for me. So I feel I can't talk about things I think, see or want to do unless I'm drunk or stoned with my friends in which case suddenly it's acceptable to be philosophical, notice what people are doing in a social situation and point it out or talk about how I'd do it! The internet also makes these things acceptable, but if it means I can shed them every once in a while it's good for me if someone is reading or not.
3) So yeah, I'm a PUA. I know the methods, I know how to make you chase me when I want you. I can seduce you... as long as I can approach. Oh yeah like most PUAs I have massive approach anxiety! If I had started this blog for PUA alone, when I wanted to it would be very boring. I got over my anxieties years ago and got a H.B.8 to come back to my place and take a return trip the next afternoon... yes I got booty called. I then used it and got another girls number, facebook, myspace, address... the list goes on, but she was tough to crack. I gave up for a while, going home to a quiet town and leaving my wing behind over summer and didn't get back into it for a while. The second girl then got in a long term relationship with me and I forgot it all. Now 7 months after our separation and no sex I'm back into it but with the same old fears. I have had mild success but that's not for this introduction. All that must be taken from this is I've had a two year hiccup and I'm back in there! with a new PU avatar Polymath! Although on the PUAforum I'm still posting under my old avatar, its good stuff though, I'll put some up on here!
4) Finally my life; its awesome!
Unfortunately, by no fault of my own! My friendship circle collapsed like dominoes, but speaking to one of the other peripheral isolates today I realised we're doing so much better than those who rejected us! They seem to have fallen apart too, or been ripped apart and they just look like they're in a rut. Whereas, we are doing well. Socialising, having fun and experiencing new things. I'm happy I'm not in with them anymore, because within months of being isolated and feeling crap about it they started to look boring and gross. I don't want to bitch so this will be the last said of it. I don't want to think these things, or even mind saying them to their faces but I think it would have little constructive impact, but instead upset them. That is not my aim as all they have done is not hang out with me and it's if anything just a realisation of a difference in taste. They have been better recently as well, since some revelations have been made. However, its like when you notice someone chews loudly, you will never be ignorant of it again. They are in a rut doing the same thing that was fun last year but would totally bum me out if I was still doing it now!
So I've moved on.
And as my friend pointed out at the end of every relationship there's always a clear winner and a clear loser, and we aren't the latter by any stretch. He's graduating uni and traveling before doing a masters and I'm waiting on grades to see if I get a PhD and if I don't I still have plans to fall back on. Too many plans if anything! I can't decide which is best :S. Because they don't want to live with me anymore I'm finally getting away from that gross environment and buying a place to flat share... winner. Or I think so. They're just carrying on in the same old fashion whilst everyone is progressing around them. Its evolution!

So... this is it. The setting for my life. The start of recording my life. I don't want to get in a rut like those old friends so I want these reasons and themes to change! Maybe finishing the blog will be the perfect close to a chapter in my life, just like 5 o'clock in the morning on a sunny 02 June 2009 on the Portsmouth seafront is the perfect start to one!
Soooo lets continue...