AFC forever?

I've not posted on here for a while now. I should do, it was my goal to document my progress.
I don't feel like I've progressed much, despite working hard on my PhD and getting praise for that work, I'm lacking somewhere.
I've noticed some of my aspirations are not coming to fruition. Mainly in the same department as many men my age, women. Despite getting a close recently, that's only one on the list. A one! that adds up to nothing, I want to be multiplying.
I'm not multiplying for a very good reason. There is no drive. I don't have many friends around to go out with anymore, but even if I do get out and closer to potential targets I stick closer to my friends than I do to the girls. It's not a fear of failure, it's a fear of jumping in. I recently took up rock climbing and this fear of getting out there is the same one than makes me shaky and clumsy near the top, the fear of falling despite the knowledge of safety. Only thing is I fail every time with girls at the moment, I'm just standing at the bottom of the wall.
'Doesn't help that I've been fixated on one girl again as well. Even though you like them and want to make a gesture of how you feel by ignoring all other women and focusing on them, you should never do it until in the relationship. Otherwise you're too attainable, you're not doing cat string theory. It's a waist of time and a hard thing to take back.
A woman has a window of opportunity with you, just like the one you have with her. Don't forget that. It makes her be decisive and work for you as much as you have to for her. Don't ever give a woman the opportunity to be indecisive!
So will I take my own advice and start jumping from the top to desensitise? Or will I just stand at the bottom looking up getting a few lucky shots now and again. I need to start multiplying, not adding. How am I supposed to know she's the one if I don't know what 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6 are? Or even 100. We'll see soon won't we, only time will tell.